


The Watcher

by angelof9



Category: Major Crimes (TV), The Closer
Genre: F/F, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-25 09:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3806071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelof9/pseuds/angelof9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Closerficfest 2015. The prompt was: The arc of Brenda and Sharon's relationship told from someone else's perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Watcher

Today is a good day.

I finally have enough money saved up to buy the telescope. I go to the shop and buy it, I am so happy. The man at the shop asks me if I’ve had a telescope before, if I know how to use it. He tells me how good this one is, how I can see the mountains and maria on the moon. I do not care about the moon, but I don’t tell the man this. I take the telescope home and set it up. Your house looks so much closer now. I can see all the details. I can see dirty cups in the sink. I can see you left the tv on standby.

The boy was careless. He left the door unlocked when he went down to the lobby to get the mail. I finally get a chance to get in. I put bugs under the dining table and the coffee table and one for good measure in the plant in the corner. I stand in your bedroom. I have never seen your bedroom, you leave the curtains closed. I wonder if I should plant another bug in here, but I have no more. Should I take the one from the plant? Then I hear the boy coming back. I panic and duck out the window to the balcony but I am trapped here. He goes to his room. I carefully slip back inside and sneak out of the apartment. My heart is hammering in my chest as I stand in the hallway. Did I forget anything? Did I leave any traces? I can’t go back in, I have no choice but to leave.

The most amazing thing happens then. I get down to the lobby and the elevator door opens and there you are. You look straight at me, but you do not recognize me because I have changed my hair and put on my glasses. You nod hello as I pass you. It is as if my whole body is on fire. I haven’t been this close to you since the day we met. It is the best moment of my life.

Yesterday was a bad day.

You were having dinner with the boy, when you suddenly got up and walked to the door. A tiny woman came in, she had long, blonde hair and a pink coat. You hugged her as if you know her, but I had never seen this woman before. The boy hugged her too, he smiled and looked happy. She took off her coat and sat at the table with you, you gave her wine. You sat there for a long time. The boy cleaned up and went to his room. The woman sat on your couch with more wine, you sat on your chair. She talked and talked and then she put down the glass and cried. You sat next to her and put your arm around her. I do not like this woman.

I have the sound now and the telescope but you are not home. I dare not watch you at your work, the other detectives are too perceptive, I am afraid I will be seen. I just sit and watch the trace on your cell phone and see you are still there.

I think about when we first met. When all this began.

I was at your work then. I was being interrogated by a rude hispanic man and a bald man. They told me their names but I have forgotten. I do not care about these people. I did not know anything, I told them this, but they would not believe me. I saw you then, as you passed by the window. It was as if time froze. It was as if all the light in the universe was there just to illuminate you. Your head turned and you looked at me and then you walked away. This moment lasted a long time. It was the best moment of my life until the elevator moment yesterday. Now it is the second best moment of my life. I waited outside the building for you after they let me go. I waited until you came out and I followed you home. It took me some time to get an apartment across the street from yours and it cost me all my money. This is why I had to use binoculars to see you. But now I have the telescope. I wait for you to get home.

You get home late and go straight to bed. I wonder if you snore or mumble in your sleep. I wonder if you move around a lot. I wonder what you dream about and if you remember your dreams in the morning. I so wish I had thought to put the other bug in your bedroom. I will have to go back in and fix this, some day.

I wake up early, but it is too late and you have already left. The boy is still there, but when he leaves, he locks the door properly.

I wait and watch the trace on your cell phone.

You come home. You call out for the boy. It is the first time I hear your voice. It is warm and smooth and pleasant like I imagined it would be. The boy is not there.

You move around the apartment and you hum along to a song in your head. It is a most wonderful sound. I am very happy.

Your phone rings. You answer “Hello, Brenda” and I wonder if it is the blonde women or someone else. I cannot hear what Brenda says but then you say “Sure, I can meet you there” and “see you soon.” You put down the phone and go into your bedroom. You stay inside for 23 minutes. When you come back out, you have different clothes on and new make up. I can see this with my telescope. I can zoom in all the way and count your eyelashes if I wish. You pick up your phone and write a message. I can zoom in on that too. “I am meeting Brenda for a drink, there’s some pizza in the freezer. See you later x” You put the phone in your purse and leave.

I am still buzzing from hearing your voice and I forget I am not dressed. I rush to put on some clothes and run downstairs. I nearly lose you, just see your car round the corner when I exit my building. But I catch up with you at the traffic light. You do not go far, 3 blocks west and 2 blocks north. There is a strip mall there, and a bar called Cayotes. You park your car and go inside. The windows are dark and I cannot see you anymore. But after four minutes, the blonde woman I do not like goes inside too. Brenda.

You and Brenda stay inside for 2 hours and 11 minutes. Then you come out together. You hug her and hold her hand and stare at her just a little too long. But then you part and get into your car and drive back to your house.

I am unhappy. I do not like this Brenda.

Three days pass and there is no mention of Brenda. You leave early for your job and come home late. Sometimes you eat with the boy, sometimes you do not. I like it when you do, because I can listen to your voice. On the fourth day, when you come home, you go inside your bedroom and stay there for nearly one hour. You come out with new clothes, they are not clothes I have seen before. The dress is deep purple and very short and very tight. I like this dress, it is very beautiful and you look beautiful. You have curled your hair and put on lots of make-up and you do not wear your glasses. I realise you are dressed for a date and it makes my stomach clench. I wonder if you are going out with the grey man from your work but you don’t usually dress up for him like that. No one comes to pick you up and he always comes to pick you up. I follow you in my car, you drive far, past your work and further out. You park your car in front of a small apartment building and check your make-up in your rear view mirror. Then you take a deep breath and get out of the car. You press the buzzer and someone lets you inside. When you come back out again, you are with her, the blonde woman. She is also dressed up for a date but she is not beautiful like you. She does not have all the light in the world inside of her. I roll down the window of my car and listen hard. It is a quiet neighbourhood so I can hear you. Brenda says you look very pretty and where are your glasses. She has a Southern accent, I do not like her voice. You say you got contact lenses but you are still getting used to them. You get inside your car and drive off.

I follow you to a restaurant called Catavina. This is a very expensive restaurant and I cannot go inside myself. I wait and wait. I am not happy.

When you come out again, you look very cheerful. Your cheeks are red and you are smiling. I like to see you happy but I do not like that it is the blonde woman that makes you happy. I follow you back to her apartment, you get out of the car with her and walk to her door. You linger there, I cannot hear what you say, the cicadas are too loud. But then you kiss her and I cannot breathe. I want to get out of my car and drag you away from her. I want to make her go away forever. But I stay in my car and wait for you to stop kissing and for her to get in her house. I am relieved when you do not follow her inside. When you have left, I get out and check the door. There is only one name that starts with B, B.L. Johnson.

Today is a very bad day.

I stay inside my bed and do not watch you, do not listen. I feel sick inside. I don’t know what to do.

After I sleep for a long time, I know what to do. I get up and check your apartment but it is silent and empty. I check the trace, you are at your work.

I go to my computer and I hack into the LAPD system. It is not hard, I am experienced, but I am still surprised at how easy I get in. There is a B.L. Johnson in the system. Brenda Leigh Johnson. She has a very, very big file and I need all day to go through it. She used to have your job, this Brenda Leigh, but then she suddenly left and you took over. So that is how you know her. Going through her file does not make me like her more, it makes me like her less. Reprimands, more reprimands, lawsuits, FID investigations, this is not a woman you should associate yourself with. And certainly not a woman you should be kissing late at night, in your purple dress and the cicadas chirping away.

Two days pass without incident. I watch you with my telescope when you are home and listen to your voice. It soothes me and I feel much better. I can almost allow myself to forget about Brenda Leigh Johnson.

But then the next day you come home early. You never come home early. You have lots of groceries and spend a long time in the kitchen. You are humming to the music in your head again, but it is not soothing to me this time, you are happy for all the wrong reasons and it is making me feel angry.

You are cutting vegetables for a salad when the boy comes home and asks if he can help. Can you finish this while I go change, you say and he says of course and he cuts the vegetables and you go into your bedroom for 17 minutes. You come out wearing a black dress that is like the purple one, short and tight, but it has a lace trimming and you are wearing pointy high heeled shoes and your hair is pulled back out of your face and you are not wearing your glasses again.

You walk through the house and you light candles and you put on music and I am so very angry. My stomach is clenched tightly and my head hurts. I want to go to the bathroom and be sick but you walk to the door and she is there and she is wearing clothes you like, a purple shirt and a cream coloured skirt, you say she looks pretty but it is not true, she is not pretty at all, not like you.

You give her wine and she says it smells nice, the food smells nice and the boy puts the salad on the table and you sit and you put food on her plate like she is a child. You talk about your dinner the other day and how nice it was and you tell the boy what you ate. I find it hard to concentrate because my head hurts. Now Brenda is talking, her ugly voice is talking with her accent that is from the South.

I do not listen to Brenda talking, I do not like her voice. When she talks I watch your face and see love in your eyes. Love that I thought would one day be reserved for me and only me. You are wasting it on her and it is making me angry.

The boy says he is leaving now. He says goodbye and see you tomorrow and he leaves. After he is gone you sit and smile and do not speak. Then you say, would you like more wine, and you get up to get a new bottle from the fridge. You close the fridge door with your foot, I see you are no longer wearing your shoes. Your toenails are painted red. You are beautiful, so very beautiful but I cannot just sit and watch you and enjoy it the way I used to. Brenda is ruining it, she is ruining everything, our happiness, my peace of mind.

You sit on your couch, Brenda is next to you. You put the wine in the glasses but they are sitting there, untouched on the table as your hands are busy holding Brenda’s and touching her legs. Your heads are close together and then they turn and you kiss and it is not a kiss that says ‘goodnight see you later’, it is much more than that. Your hands are in her hair now and you are making moaning noises. You stop kissing and she is touching you, she is touching your face, and you smile at her and tilt your head to meet her touch. And then you are kissing again, more fervently now and your hands are on her back and they pull at her shirt and your hands go underneath and she arches her back and moans.

I don’t know what your hands do under the shirt, but then you pull it off, you pull the whole shirt off and there is no bra. Your head bends forward and you take her breast into your mouth and she throws her head back in ecstasy. Her hands are on your clothes now, pulling down the zipper of your dress, pulling the dress off your shoulders and down to your waist. She and I, we both gasp at the sight of you in just a lacy black bra.

My head is clouded because you are so beautiful and I want to see you like this, without clothes, and I want to touch you like she is, but at the same time my head is full of anger. Because it is her and not me.

You bra is gone now and your hair is messed up and your nipples are hard and your mouth is open and it is the most gorgeous sight I have ever seen and this would be the best moment of my life if it wasn’t for her. The woman that you take by the hand and lead into your bedroom.

Guns are not hard to find but they are expensive and I need a good one and I need practise. So I work many hours at the carwash that is my place of work and I watch you in the evenings, and I follow you when you go to Brenda’s house and I take my binoculars and I watch you in her house. She does not keep her curtains closed.

Today is the last day.

You leave for work early, but you leave Brenda at your house. You take the boy with you, but not her. She goes back into your bedroom after you leave and does not come out for 1 hour and 36 minutes. Then she comes out and walks around singing out of tune and talking out loud to herself with her ugly voice and her ugly accent. She makes coffee and leaves the mug in the sink. She forgets to put the milk back in the refrigerator. She puts on her pink coat and leaves the apartment and I go down and leave mine. I follow her car until she parks at her place of work. I park mine a little closer to the door, to give me time to take the gun and aim it at her.

I pull the trigger and I hit her, she falls to the ground and she is screaming. She is not dead so I missed. I get out of my car and walk over, ready to pull the trigger again but then I feel a sharp pain in my arm and the gun falls from my hand. Blood is gushing from me, I have been hit. I look around and I see you. I don’t understand why you are there. You look angry. You shout at me, you read me my rights. I tell you she is no good, she has to go, that you will be happier on your own, with me watching and keeping you safe, but you do not listen. This was all for you, I say, everything I do, I do for you. You look confused, your brow is furrowed like you are trying to remember. Maybe you remember when we met in the elevator and our lives were perfect. Maybe it was the best moment of your life as well.


End file.
